Closed Curtains

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My thoughts are churning with the yearning of earning something more,

My mind is an ocean of waves crashing against the common sea shore.

Constantly exceeding, then receding; I’m being batted back and forth-

Between taking the high road, and settling the score.

Yet, you still think this is a metaphor.

Take a look around. Just a little peek,

Look behind The Curtains;

I can already hear the shrieks.

When they realize they’re in a game of charades and they’ve lost the right to speak;

It will be I laughing at them because now they are exposed and weak.

They leaked my happiness from me and stole it from themselves.

They leave me alone to dwell, and toss and turn inside a silent hell.

I want to toss a coin in a wishing well,

But, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Do I wish for harm, or do I wish for grace?

So many things have taken course through all our lifespans,

Yet, no one would ever know

I know I’m not the only one;

who keeps my Curtains drawn tight and closed.

Life just isn’t like the T.V. shows.

Sometimes it’s the ones we hold close-

Those we love most.

That end up being the very host of our own demise.

They can cause so much pain, in the blink of an eye.

We can try our best to be wise,

But those we love will always have an unsuspected disguise.

The world taught us to be weary of those we despise,

But what happens when its the ones we love that leave us hanging dry?

I’m teetering between faiths,

Between revenge and a forgiving grace,

Because I’m still churning with the yearning of earning something more.

There’s a hole in my heart and I don’t know what for.

Do I take the high road or settle the score?

Which way will work to fill my own core?

I think to life there must be more,

than raging battles of silent wars.

But that’s all I see.

Including present company.

What’s the point if there’s no peace?

Why bother if no one else cares to take a peek-

behind their Closed Curtains.

And share the same shrieks as I when they find for certain.

That those you love can be the same ones that leave you to die.

//reflection of betrayal from the eyes of a close friend//

-h.f.

[Wonderful art by Heather Hanson]

 

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